I’m sitting here eating breakfast with my dog, Bailey, yes…my dog. All of the kids stayed at friend’s houses last night. I finish eating and I glance down and there is a mini Jenga game sitting there. “Awe cool, I wish Bailey could play, I’d totally ask her to play a quick game with me”, I think to myself. My mind keeps going “What I really wish is that Payton was here to play it with me. He would love that, and so would I”.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, and although I have 3 children who I love very much, and I know they love me back, I can’t help but have deep feelings of loneliness, missing my sweet boy. It doesn’t help that our kids are getting older and they are either gone a lot or don’t care to be around us much when they are home. It is just LONELY. I am beginning to feel less and less of a mother as life goes on. Payton would have kept me busy as can be for the next few years with his high energy levels. He kept me on my toes. Life is definitely very grey at times since he left us.
Speaking of grey, this is the color of the brain cancer awareness ribbon. May is brain cancer awareness month. Please keep spreading awareness and raising funds for brain cancer research when you can, so other families don’t have to feel this loneliness I am feeling right now.
I am in serious need of some child interaction, so I am very excited to have my nephews come stay ths night with me tonight. They bring a bit of brightness into my life and I am so thankful to have them💛