Struggling hard tonight, missing my baby. Looking through pics of my “Fab 4”, the way it should have been forever. This was the first day of school before Payton was diagnosed. You can majorly tell in the first photo the tumor was there. I remember telling him “hold your head up straight silly”. I thought he had an ear infection or was being shy or quirky. It was the tumor taking away his strength on that side. His smile is really “off” too, because of the tumor. It must have been worse in the early morning because I never even noticed his smile being off until after he was diagnosed. Hindsight really is 20/20. Although knowing sooner wouldn’t have changed Payton’s prognosis, I still carry some guilt…I’m his MOM! How did I not notice it was this bad?? I’d give anything to have my baby back. Wish my husband was here. 3rd shift can suck a fat one.