I’ll look for you

Dear Payton, 

  First of all, I miss you like crazy. I miss you every split second of every single day. There is a huge hole in my heart and I try so hard everyday to fill it with it’s missing piece. I look for you in the sky each time I go outside. Maddi and I saw a Dinosaur/Hulk cloud a few days ago. I knew it was you. I was looking for you a couple months ago, and saw you sent an owl to sit in the tree next to our house.  He was a beautiful big owl, I saw him. I listen for you in our windchimes. We received one as a gift in your memory and have since bought more so we could hear you in the wind. Your daddy heard you blowing the Myrtle Beach wind chime when there was no wind a couple of days ago.  He hears you baby. I turn your church night light, that you got from Grandma Hamilton, on in my room every night, so I can see you. Your toothpaste is still in my shower, I see it there every day.  It reminds me of your last bath, the one where I got my swim suit on and lied there in the tub with you laying back on me. I walk passed your superhero urn, that holds what is left of your physical body, sometimes I stop and kiss it, but I see you every time. I look for you in all kids I see. I received the hug you sent me today. When Corben unexpectedly hugged me in the kitchen today, while I stood in the EXACT same spot I was the VERY last time you hugged me like that, I knew you sent him to do that. I felt you baby. I look for you at the lake, in the sky, while I sit on the porch swing, while I drive, when I’m working or cleaning, and every moment in between. I will always look for you sweet boy, until we meet again.

Love you forever,


Author: PaytonPiesMommy

I am a mother to 4 beautiful and amazing children. My youngest son was called to Heaven on March 26th, 2017 after a 6 month battle with a brain cancer called DIPG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma). He was only 7 years old. My life has been forever changed and my heart longs to be with him. I must complete my mission on earth, until we meet again. Writing is my outlet.

One thought on “I’ll look for you”

  1. When I was grieving my dad, I saw and felt signs that I never had seen or felt before. I truly believe that our loved ones are with us every single day. And if we open our hearts and our minds we can see them and feel them. The spirit world is so unbelievable. It’s almost magical. I know my grief doesn’t compare to the ungodly pain you feel. But I know from past experiences, that if your open to the spirit world… you will see Payton everywhere. Xo

    My heart is with you sweet lady.


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